The Toilet

So Barqs Root Beer

Makes me shit so bad. I’ll have a 20oz and spew diarrhea everywhere before it’s 3/4 gone. Then it fizzes inside the toilet.

second-alwayssucks:

Pray for my friend’s soul, she has diarrhea so bad that she had to hang up on me. I love you, Tiffany. Seriously guys, send her messages about her shit!  ———> revolution-before-evolution.tumblr.com

Do this, and I’ll promo you!

Help out a sista in trouble

This dude…

keeps putting his ass in my mouth. Like, way too often for it to be healthy. He tastes like buffalo wings and I don’t like it.

Y’all mothafuckas

Need to poop more often. It can negatively effect your health otherwise.

dxmnyou:

hungry tired and sad is never a good mix. the fact that I have an essay to write sucks as well.

Sit on me while you do it. I will relax you.

shitonthings:

dannika-nicole:

toiletz:

dannika-nicole:

toiletz:

dannika-nicole:

Still haven’t had my first kiss. I’m almost sixteen.

The one time I was kissed she threw up on me right afterwards. Count your blessings.

Oh…

Did you brush your teeth first?

[sympathy]

I think she brushed her teeth. My mouth was open so I was preoccupied.

WAIT SHE THREW UP IN YOUR MOUTH?

I’m a toilet, people do all kinds of things in my mouth.

Ah that’s cool, shitonthings, just steal my thunder

Some people…

Some guy just finished dropping the biggest dump ever. I had trouble swallowing all that.

poetryandthoughts asked: So you're expecting me, an introvert, to start a conversation with you?

Oh for fuck sake, I’m a toilet!
And also introversion is no excuse for anything. 

san-fran-dreamer:

I was really looking forward to talking to you at the end of the day…. :/

I look forward to our “middle of the night” interactions