Story of my immobile life.

Story of my immobile life.

(via lieselottchen)

Ugh here comes Don…

Same shit, different day

So Barqs Root Beer

Makes me shit so bad. I’ll have a 20oz and spew diarrhea everywhere before it’s 3/4 gone. Then it fizzes inside the toilet.

eyeslikeherfathers:

the looks on their faces omfg

Excellence

second-alwayssucks:

Pray for my friend’s soul, she has diarrhea so bad that she had to hang up on me. I love you, Tiffany. Seriously guys, send her messages about her shit!  ———> revolution-before-evolution.tumblr.com

Do this, and I’ll promo you!

Help out a sista in trouble

(via survivaloftheday)

This dude…

keeps putting his ass in my mouth. Like, way too often for it to be healthy. He tastes like buffalo wings and I don’t like it.

Y’all mothafuckas

Need to poop more often. It can negatively effect your health otherwise.

dxmnyou:

hungry tired and sad is never a good mix. the fact that I have an essay to write sucks as well.

Sit on me while you do it. I will relax you.

shitonthings:

dannika-nicole:

toiletz:

dannika-nicole:

toiletz:

dannika-nicole:

Still haven’t had my first kiss. I’m almost sixteen.

The one time I was kissed she threw up on me right afterwards. Count your blessings.

Oh…

Did you brush your teeth first?

[sympathy]

I think she brushed her teeth. My mouth was open so I was preoccupied.

WAIT SHE THREW UP IN YOUR MOUTH?

I’m a toilet, people do all kinds of things in my mouth.

Ah that’s cool, shitonthings, just steal my thunder

(via blogtaculous)

Some people…

Some guy just finished dropping the biggest dump ever. I had trouble swallowing all that.

I am the toilet, and I am always here for you.

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Throw out your crap